Happy Late Boxing Day

I hope all of you are recovering well from your holiday festivities. I've got one more gathering tomorrow night and then I'm all done.

I got a new job, and my super at the job I lost said I may still have hours, which is fabulous. Granted, I'm up to seven or eight part-time jobs at this point, but that's so much better than, say, none.

In addition to getting a job for Christmas, I also got a ton of... stuff. My parents continue to spoil me exponentially with each passing year. I got the cutest cookie jar ever, a handbag that's waaaay too nice, an assortment of bath and body products, other lovelies, and the lamp I've wanted my whole life. I haven't brought it in yet because I'm having to prepare Mr. B for it. It's tacky. It's terrible. And I love it! Mr. B got me the pasta attachment for the Kitchenaid and a bunch of other kitchen lovelies. I'm very excited to try making pasta, and I'll let you know how it works out. :)

Father Christmas also handed me a bit of cash to hit the sales with, so I'm off to replenish the professional wardrobe and schedule a haircut. Happy Christmahanukwanzakah, and leave your trees up till at least the sixth!

Love,
KB

Christmas News

Hey all. I hope your holidays are going wonderfully.

So, I'm off work at my main job (woohoo academia!)a few weeks for Christmas. I'm still cleaning houses and all that jazz. I've secured a bunch of part time work for the spring and have been feeling really good about the prospect of paying off my consumer debt, making big dents in the student loans, and whittling down my car payment.

And then I came home yesterday to an email informing me that my academic job, the one that actually pays the bills, is probably gone. The economy means that they can't pay us. Most of the jobs are revoked, and all the remaining jobs are significantly reduced in hours.

THIS SUCKS. This was a threat a few months ago, and then the situation was rectified and I was given my hours back. Now, our contracts won't be what we were told, if any of us have them at all.

Now, that being said, I'm already setting up interviews -- I have one Monday morning. I never have stopped looking for a full time job, that illustrious unicorn that comes with health insurance, a normal schedule and paid vacation. I won't have it any time soon, but I've been trying. And, since I had overloaded my schedule for spring, I have some work. Not enough right now, but some. And, since I'm on a horrendous pay delay, I have another paycheck at the end of January. These are all good things that are keeping the panic attacks from lasting more than fifteen minutes.

The upside? You're gonna see me a lot more. And boy, will the frugality tips keep coming. And you know what? We're all going to get through this depression/recession/economic flu, and we're going to be alright.

And who the hell sends out a mass email the week before Christmas telling employees they don't have jobs? Seriously!

Happy Holidays, eveyone! I hope to be back this weekend with the Christmas baking update.

Happies,
KB

Holidays on the Cheap

Wow. It's December. I pretty much missed Halloween, which totally threw off my holiday barometer. Then Thanksgiving came late, and here I am still with pumpkins strung about my apartment, no tree, and no shopping done. Oh, and like EVERYONE ELSE in the country except for the tools that wrote that article in the Times about throwing a "budget" party (to the tune of $30 a head), I am freaking worried about my finances. With academia, I get what I like to call mandatory unpaid vacation for almost a month, and employment is shaky for summer. While I could toss some cash around this holiday, I need to sit on it for hard(er) times and keep paying down the unholy amount of debt I've amassed over the five years. Hey, I'm working on it quite well. Just sayin'.

So how to handle this situation? Well, most of my nearest and dearest are getting various combinations of delicious Cinnamon Bread (I can make two loaves for about a dollar -- recipe to follow), other assorted baked goods, and bargain-basement knickknacks I've picked up over the last few months at ridiculous discounts. The parents and Mr. B. get a little more.

So how do I make bread for a dollar? Easily. Granted, I'm blessed with two things many people are not -- a Costco membership and a Kitchenaid stand mixer. (Both results of Mr. B.) 25 pounds of flour at costco is about seven dollars. Two pounds of yeast is between three and four dollars. A giant container of Saigon cinnamon? Three dollars. I don't even know what I paid for the ten pound bag of sugar. I do know that I fell over laughing when I saw it contained over 1500 servings. Anyway, the bread recipe I use, which I will post soon, calls for about five cups of flour, a little butter, 2 packs of yeast (I need to refresh myself on the conversion -- five spoonfuls or something), a little water, and a little sugar. The dough hook does the work, I let it rise, divide it, roll it, melt more butter, brush it, and sprinkle cinnamon sugar over it. Then, roll, rise, and bake, and you have two loaves of ridiculously delicious bread at less than a dollar. One of the bakeries in town sells it for $6 a pop. I really need to open a shop.

Anyway, more on holiday frugality to come.

It's Over, Phil. Farewell.

Dear Phillip,

People said I'd never do it, and I bet you thought I wouldn't, too. But the time has come. I have to end this.

You've never been good for me. I met you years ago. I mean, we've been doing this on-again, off-again crap for a decade. And yeah, there have been some times when we've been tight, for years even. Especially during college, O.H., and that rough patch of grad school. And when times were hard, I relied on you.I always turned to you, Phil. You and Mr. Coffee. But MC never let me down. Why did you?

Dammit, Phillip. I should have listened. My friends told me you were no good. My parents threw a fit -- they were really worried about the effect you had on me.

You've been holding me back, Phil. I turned to you always; I was always there. But what did you do for me, Phil? You made me feel like crap! You made me feel sick! Yeah, whenever we'd get back together, it would be good at first. But then, I'd start to feel the real effect, Phil. When I needed you, you would just burn up into a puff of smoke. And you always came around when I'd drink. What's up with that, Phil? You'd show up when I was studying. I couldn't get away.

You're bad for me. I know it. You're really an addiction. For years, I thought I needed you. But I don't. Man, I know I'll be ok. Yeah, it's hard. There have been some days when I've thought, "Just once. For the good times, man. Just a little fix." But I know that as soon as you touch my lips, it'll be the same old crap, man.

You've been bad for me since the day TB introduced us in high school. HIGH SCHOOL, MAN. Granted, you weren't a habit for me till college, but it started way back then. I should have known better. Everyone told me you were bad for me, but I just HAD to try you, and see what you were all about.

It was a mistake, Phil. We're through. People say, Oh, but the holidays will be hard. Oh, you'll miss it. Whatever, man. I'll be okay. I'll be fine without you. I'll walk a little more quickly, drink a little more coffee, probably be nervous for awhile. But Phil, I'll be fine without you. It's been three weeks. I only caved once, and I threw you out as soon as I realized my mistake. I can do this, Phil. I don't have to go back to you.

And as for the holidays, there are some other old pals. Jimmy Beam, Jack Daniels, George Dickel, Johnny Walker -- those guys, they'll be there for me. I can moderate with those fellas. But not you, Phillip. I just don't know when to quit with you.

So this is it, Phil. Don't come around. I mean, I know I'll see you out and stuff. I'll just have to avoid places we used to spend time together, and when friends bring you around, I'll just ignore you. Maybe have a Dum-Dum instead.

Goodbye, Phillip Morris. I loved you while it lasted, but you were bad for me.

KB

Wooh, the Bitsch is Back!

Hello! I have been so freaking busy. I started my new job, and it's taken me two weeks to adjust to the point I'm not a complete pile of dead sludge when I get home. But anyway, I'm here, and first up -- two food products I am IN LOVE with.

Exhibit A:





Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Sorbet.

There are no words, but I shall try. Delicious. Chocolate. Frozen. And, dare (dairy?) I say, as good/better than chocolate ice cream. I know, I know. And there's no dairy in it. Cocoa, sugar, corn syrup (not hfcs, though), egg whites, pectin, vanilla, salt. It's just scrumptious, and even if you gorge on it, you don't feel like you ate an entire cow the way you do after you snarf down a pint of Ben and Jerry's (not to say I don't LOVE snarfing down some cookie dough... I just waddle like I'm 13 mos pregnant after). And the best part? 130 calories per 1/2 cup serving. Ie, you can beast through the whole carton and take in 520 calories. And there's only half a gram of fat and no cholesterol per serving. Good stuff.

Exhibit B:


Ling Ling's Chicken Spring Rolls

These are delish, and you can actually recognize everything in the ingredients list. They're quick to prepare, come with tasty sauce, and 3 mini rolls have about 200 calories. At Costco, they run about $10 for a 30-pack.

I hope to be posting a bit more frequently. I have three recipes to put up this weekend if I can get a few minutes.

Pasta PrimaSquasha for Two One

I came in ravenous on Friday afternoon. I don't know what it is about cooking lunch on Fridays (see Trash(y) Pasta Salad), but it's been happening of late. It is probably just the knowledge that after next week, I work real jobs and can't do it anymore. Anyhow, I wanted something filling and tasty, and did not want to go out in public. I scanned the kitchen... 2 tomatoes on the verge of squish, a squash on the verge of squish, an onion, and some whole wheat fettucine. Perfect!

Twelve Minute Pasta PrimaSquasha



-A little olive oil
-One large summer squash (or zucchini)
-About a cup of sliced onion (I used half of a gigantic vidalia)
-Two fresh tomatoes, or canned diced tomatoes
-Two cloves garlic (I sliced... I still can't remember to bring the mincer back to Mr. B.'s)
-Herbs and spices
-A little white wine for deglazing
-A little sugar
-Freshly ground salt and pepper
-Whole wheat pasta

Put pasta water on to boil. Wash and cut squash lengthwise and scrape out some of the seeds with a spoon. Slice squash and saute in a little olive oil while you cut onion. Add onion to pan and cook with squash until both veggies are getting soft while you cut the tomatoes. (I bet you can put your pasta on now). Add tomatoes to pan, stir, add garlic. Let that cook and get happy. Add herbs and spices. After things have been cooking a bit and are starting to smell and look delightful, remove pan from heat and add a little white wine to deglaze the pan. Stir and scrape and put the pan back on the heat. Things a little dry? Not too saucy? Add a dash of sugar (less than a tablespoon) to the veggies. This will bring out the flavor of the tomatoes and draw out a little juice. Turn heat to low and stir while you wait for pasta to cook. Season to taste, and serve a giant helping of veggies over some pasta, perhaps with a little fresh parm.

Now, I made that giant pan up there with the intent of feeding Mr. B. too. He foolishly decided to go fishing, and I ate the entire pan of veggies all by my ownself. I didn't even have pasta with the second serving, and I did not feel bad about cleaning out that pan one bit. It was freaking wonderful. You know what else? One tomato was a delicious farmers market tomato. The other was a pinkish grocery store tomato Mr. B. put in the fridge -- but cooking it made it better. So, don't give up on the eehhhh-about-to-squish produce all the time. I mean, don't eat moldy carrots, but some stuff you can salvage.

The cost? The tomatoes were about .50, the squash was about .50, the onion, .50, and the pasta, mmm... about .50. Let's call it a 2.50 lunch that should have served two. Alas, je suis un piggy.

Magical 17 Cent Low Fat Low Cal Brownies of Wonder

Hi again! It's been awhile. I've been busy not posting, but I have been busy cooking and taking pictures, and reading cookbooks, and doing lots of things that I'll get around to here. :) So... today's project... magic brownies!

Awhile back (like, say, ten years ago), mom and I found a great lowfat brownie recipe that we made ad nauseum. Well, not really, cause I don't so much tire of brownies. Anyhow, it had interesting ingredients, but nothing really strange. It called for cocoa and lowfat sour cream, and I can't remember the rest. I've been looking all over for it, and can't find it. But, the search led me to something really neat. As I googled, all-reciped and cooks.commed around, I discovered a completely odd recipe for healthier brownies. People have been talking about it all over the internet. It's just brownie mix and one secret ingredient. You just have to keep the secret ingredient a secret until you get someone to eat it.

So, I went to the grocery store the other night and Ghiradelli double chocolate brownie mix was on sale for 1.89 and the secret ingredient was .79. I figured this would be a fair investment for something that could be a culinary disaster.

And here we go. Try it before you judge.


Magic brownies
Makes 16 2-inch brownies. I call this 4-8 servings.


-1 box brownie mix
-1 can black beans (I swear to Paula Deen, it's true)

Preheat oven according to package directions. (I did 325, using a glass 8x8 pan -- I like thick fudginess.) Make sure your significant other will not come into the kitchen for the next two minutes. Dump beans into a colander, saving the can. Rinse them well. Rinse out the can. Return the beans to the can and put enough water in the can to just cover the beans. Dump beans and water into blender and blend the bejaysus out of them. If you don't blend them well, you'll get bits of bean skin in the brownies. While blender is on forever, go make small talk with significant other and tell him you're doing a science experiment in the blender. Run back and make sure you hid the bean can. Dump brownie mix into a bowl. Add the blended beans. Stir well. Pour in greased brownie pan/dish. Bake according to package directions. Cool. Cut. Serve. Make s.o. or small children eat one and then tell them what's in it. Smile as they gawk.

The nutritional stats are pretty awesome. Per brownie using Ghiradelli:
Calories:164
Fat: Less than 4 grams
Saturated fat: 1.5 grams
Fiber: 2.5 grams
Sodium: 200 mg.
9% RDA for iron
No cholesterol!

Go ahead and double that, cause I already ate 2. Oh, and by the way? The cost is 17 cents per brownie. Seriously, you can't not try this. And if you like frosted brownies, what better way to feel good about indulging?

I served one up to Mr. B. He ate it and said, "That was good."

I said, "Come on! I need more than that. I know the texture was weird, but tell me what you think of them."

"Ok. Yeah, the texture's different. The taste is good, just not as rich as regular brownies." Fair enough. They don't get the crusty top, but criminy they're fudgy. Then he looked at me again.
"What did you put in there?"

"Black beans."

"Damn good use of black beans."

So there! Give it a shot and let me know what you think!